Paddy buys a bath but takes it back the next day complaining that water keeps running out the bottom.
The manager asks him if he bought a plug.
Paddy says “You twat, you never said it was electric!”
A man walks into a pub in Wales and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the barman looks around and says: “You ain’t from around here, are you… where you from, boy?”
The man says, “I’m from London.”
The barman asks, “What d’you do in London?”
The man responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”
The barman asks, “A taxidermist… what the fuck is a taxidermist?”
The man says “I mount animals.”
The barman grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s alright boys, he’s one of us!”