| … I need to know: “Why did Ada not want me to know she was ill?” … |
As soon as we found out early this year that Ada’s cancers had returned with a vengance, she went into intense medical care and stayed there virtually full time. Later, when she was out of the hospital her sisters took charge and she spent much time staying in Burlington, in particular, and spending a bit of time in Sudbury with her father and another sister. Especially at the end since she could not be allowed to stay in her apartment. You know well how strong-willed she is and how fiercely independant. She fought this cancern and tried everything possible to deny its progress. Then, in October, when finally told nothing more could or would be done, she merely said she was glad to be able to get away form the constant medical attention and asked if we could travel on a bit of a “Farewell” tour.
Ada often said that her role was to be a “Second Banana”. To all of her business associates, she was obviously unwavering in this ambition, and practiced this philosophy in all of the environments in which she served. This was just one small part of Ada’s ability to win the enduring admiration of the people that got to know her and then to be one of her many friends. Ada always gave more to the other people in her life than she took, and she always did this out of nothing more than a desire to help; expecting no reward what-so-ever, no-matter-what.
Her last wishes to travel a bit and to just have some quiet time to rest, finally over-ruled all other considerations. This is the only time in the decades I knew Ada that she put herself first. And frankly, I applauded her decision to do so. Brendan and her sisters agreed, asking only that we remain in Canada.
Ada and I left almost immediately, since by then it was quite apparent that Ada’s energy levels were already virtually non-existant (she needed to sleep more than 12 hours a day) and that the rate of deterioration would only increase. Before leaving, we already knew that Ada would have to enter a residence upon our return. Since she was still opposed to that, she and I agreed that we would not talk about it until we were on the flight back. And we didn’t.
After Ada entered the Residence, things happened so quickly, that its a bit of a blur. And its all so sad that I do not think now is the time that anyone who was involved should even try to document that part. Brendan has done Ada proud. Nadia is a true blessing. Both of them are struggling through these last hours and have not had a moment to do anything but focus on Ada. I am now helping Brendan and Nadia with some of the necessary arrangements. As you can already see from these pages, he is only now becomming aware of some aspects of Ada’s life. Since she never let her family know the scope of her business activities and accomplishments, they don’t even know who to invite to the services, so I’m doing the bast I can to look after that for Brendan, as he asked me to last night (06-12-16).
If you need more information, feel free to ask.