You can teach me basic things about how to program here. You can teach me basic things about the technique, the internet, about online groups, things that are commonly known in the group but I obviously did not understand yet. You can do it here without disturbing on other pages. I will certainly return the favour. Thanks.
It is like me asking you "teach me how to write"!
Another issue which is involved here is that programmers tend to transfer the vocabulary used to discuss programming to other topics; this is not always successful, and is always confusing to non programmers (and sometimes to programmers from other parts of the discipline).
Eh, don't think for a second about the immensity of programming.
Programming is easy, and it's getting easier all the time.
Just remember:
print "Hello, world!"
It's as easy as that. 
Go with what you know already, and take little steps. Find tutorials that meet your level. Try not to get into anything that looks too fancy, or tells you about how great and amazing and powerful and vast and large programming is.
DO go with anything that says, "You want to code? Okay, here's how..."
The ""teach me how to write" example is quite appropriate: Writing is easy. Just do it. 
Just do it is, in my opinion, bad advice for some types of programming; there are techniques which are important and can be taught. But not all are relevant to all types of program. And it is easy to build up either bad habits, or ways of doing things which work in one sphere, and not another.
And I still don't know what Mattis wants...to use the writing analogy - sonnets, novels, journalism, or what?
air:
information is decodable close to its source only. It is decodeable realtime only.
paper:
information is decodeable everywhere it gets physically carried to. It is decodeable at any time.
electrons:
information is decodeable everywhere as it is everywhere (a visionary "is"). No transport of any physical materia is involved anymore.
The three transfer media were used in a mixed manner, Telephone is air and electrons. News agencies started to use telegraph connections, paper and electrons.
Talking directly to someone is air only. An exchange of love letters is paper only. We are on electrons only here. Logs, email, wiki are electrons only. This rather new tranferition media can - much more than air and paper - be influenced, it can be improved, you can experiment around with its viscosity, figure out how to get it [de]supraleitend, [en]superconducting ?[xx]. This programming interests me. This language.
For example: you use a markup language to format what you write on this wiki. This is a small programming language. Alex wrote a script (in Perl, I think, and based on stuff other people did) which turns this markup language into html which another piece of software (the browser) turns into stuff we see (or don't, if we use Internet explorer). There is a piece of software called a webserver involved in the mix somewhere. And lots of machines to make the connection between you in Berlin and me in Dublin.
There are hundreds of languages to program in for different tasks and machines. I regularly work with two or three professionally.
Mattis: I stand by everything I said before.
You're doing it right, you've got the right ideas.
Lion's advice is good if what you want is to code a scripting language like Perl or Python. Another good way to learn is to get say the source of this wiki, and play with it in a safe corner somewhere...
Here's lesson one for Mattis: 
Get the following Python program to run:
print "Hello, world!"
After that, try the following program, and tell us how it goes:
import xmlrpclib
server = xmlrpclib.ServerProxy( "http://flashmob.wiki.taoriver.net/moin.cgi/?action=xmlrpc2" )
for name in server.getAllPages():
print name
Briefly, that means, "Go talk to the flashmob wiki, ask it for a list of all it's pages, and then print each one."